Today, I did absolutely nothing.

I had the whole house to myself for most of the day, so I watched Stranger Things and ate leftovers.

Even as I write this, I want to justify why I was lazy today —
I want to tell you everything I did this past week to “earn” this day of complete unproductivity.
I also want to list a few things I did do, just so you stop judging me —
or maybe so I stop judging myself.
Honestly, probably the latter.

There were moments throughout the day when I’d think,
I should get up and do something.
But in those moments, I simply turned the TV up a little louder.

When Cody came home around 4 p.m., we had dinner and went downstairs to watch Modern Family.
“I’m just having a lazy day,” I kept saying to him.

After a few of those comments, he gently asked me to stop saying that.

“You are choosing to rest in this way today — you are not lazy,” he said.

Gosh, the power of words.

The power words have over our identity —
the ones spoken over us, and the ones we speak over ourselves.

Yes, today was absolutely not a “productive” day,
but my body feels rested.
And honestly? My mind does too.

That is — until the thoughts creep in:
I’m failing because I’m not doing.
Not chasing.
Not learning.
Not growing.
Not becoming.

I’m just existing.
I’m just enjoying.
And who gave me the right to do that?

That sounds silly when I write it out, huh?
But isn’t that exactly how we often speak to ourselves?

It’s so simple to see someone else’s broken foundation.
We can easily point out what habits they need to break,
what words they need to stop speaking over themselves.

But goodness —
it is so much harder to do that for ourselves.

There are these pernicious thoughts
that, if left unchecked, begin to falter the foundation of who we are.
We become what we repeatedly say to ourselves.

If I keep telling myself I’m lazy,
I will begin to believe I’m lazy.
And I will act accordingly.

Thoughts shape our reality.

And hopefully —
we’re either aware of them,
or we have someone we trust
who will help us reframe the words we’ve unknowingly spoken
against ourselves.